You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
