why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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