Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize