I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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