Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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