she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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