I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
