I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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