my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
