New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
