Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize