I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
