You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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