is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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