dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
