I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
