my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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