It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
