Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.

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(914): View more from New York

i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic

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(845): View more from New York

They were actually really boring considering how we met them.

(1-845): View more from New York

howd you meet them?

(845): View more from New York

They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.

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(713): View more from Texas

I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?

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