we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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