i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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