Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
