I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
