Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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