The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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