3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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