So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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