doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
