I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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