I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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