There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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