Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
