As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
