do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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