it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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