You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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