have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
