no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
