so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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