i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
