I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
