Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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