Will you blow on my dice?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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