my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
