Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
