That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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