Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize