I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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