Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
