I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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