Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
