This girl is more easily done than said...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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