were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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