You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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