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• (207): View more from Maine

  Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  safety first

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever

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• (323): View more from California

  but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"

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• (406): View more from Montana

  i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny

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• (830): View more from Texas

  Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science

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