actually, I'm a sock model
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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