my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I think your dad took our porno
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
