At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I AM VODKA MAN
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
