So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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