all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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