I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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