question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
