i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
